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Comfort Adore

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transitions away [Sep. 10th, 2015|04:31 pm]
Comfort Adore
To: politediscord
CC: others

Alas, I missed the email from livejournal ten months ago. I expected to have received something like that.

What happened was that my dad suggested a forum such as livejournal is archaic, and that I should move on. So I bought a new home desktop and experimented with Per Se, which is more convenient than logging into a web site, but with the heavy risk of no longer relying on somebody else's mainframe to back up the information. In any case, I have continued to journal, but it is true that I haven't been active on livejournal for a couple of years now.

I'm only here now because I needed to look up something that I had written before I began on Per Se instead. I feel rather lost navigating livejournal's new client.

Comment to this entry, and I should still receive future notifications.
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Transatlanticism [Feb. 21st, 2012|08:33 am]
Comfort Adore
The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how...
The clouds above opened up and let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no.

Those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer [x8]

[instrumental break]

I need you so much closer [x4]
So come on, come on [x4]
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The Devil's Children [Nov. 4th, 2011|01:07 am]
Comfort Adore
.... Why do you not understand what I am saying? It is because you cannot hear My word. You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I speak the truth, you do not believe Me. Which one of you convicts Me of sin? If I speak truth, why do you not believe Me? He who is of God hears the words of God; for this reason you do not hear them, because you are not of God.....

... If I glorify Myself, My glory is nothing; it is My Father who glorifies Me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God’; and you have not come to know Him, but I know Him; and if I say that I do not know Him, I will be a liar like you, but I do know Him and keep His word....
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Jerusalem [Sep. 10th, 2011|09:00 am]
Comfort Adore
And when He approached, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, "If you had known in this day, even you, the things which make for peace! But now they have been hidden from your eyes. For the days shall come upon you when your enemies will throw up a bank before you and surround you, and hem you in on every side, and will level you to the ground and your children within you, and they will not leave in you one stone upon another, because you did not recognize the time of your visitation."
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the bad psychic, second attempt [Aug. 31st, 2011|05:13 am]
Comfort Adore
If a four-eyed monster isn't wearing corrective lenses, then she still cannot see you for the special creature that you are. No matter, because you know that your own chakras are clear. The police patrol in full force, and you will leave with your life, but not with your friends.
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13 [Aug. 11th, 2011|09:19 am]
Comfort Adore
[Current Location |home]
[mood |angryangry]

Do you suppose that these Galileans were greater sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered this fate? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish...
... A certain man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it, and did not find any. And he said to the vineyard keeper, "Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?" And he answered and said to him, "Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; and if it bears fruit next year, fine, but if not, cut it down.".....

..... Strive to enter by the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. Once the head of the house gets up and shuts the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock on the door, saying, "Lord, open up to us!" then He will answer and say to you, "I do not know where you are from." Then you will begin to say, "We ate and drank in Your presence, and You taught in our streets"; and He will say, "I tell you, I do not know where you are from; DEPART FROM ME, ALL YOU EVILDOERS." There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth there when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but yourselves being cast out. And they will come from east and west, and from north and south, and will recline at the table in the kingdom of God. And behold, some are last who will be first and some are first who will be last...
... "Go away and depart from here, for Herod wants to kill You."...
... "Go and tell that fox, "Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I reach My goal." Nevertheless I must journey on today and tomorrow and the next day; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish outside of Jerusalem. O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, just as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not have it! Behold, your house is left to you desolate; and I say to you, you shall not see Me until the time comes when you say, "BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!"
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rainy day dreams [backdated] [Aug. 10th, 2011|06:19 pm]
Comfort Adore
[Current Location |Earlene Howard Hospice Home]
[mood |drowsy]

There is a werewolf inside my heart.
It cries out and howls against the pain of the world.

My mom wrote a poem on the word processor and then lost it. (The poem, not the word processor.)
I had wanted to perfect it, and then it was gone.
I called the word processor a piece of shit, because it didn't process words.

She is my surrogate frontal lobe.

A colleague says there is a psychic who lives in Tontitown who doesn't accept money, but only whiskey, and that she is supposedly "the real deal."

I thought on going to see her and then write about it.

Maybe I won't go to see her, and then write about it.
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manic Saturday [Aug. 7th, 2011|06:56 am]
Comfort Adore
[Current Location |home]
[mood |euphoric]

Writer's Block
What are you studying or did you study in school? Is it related to what you want to do for your career?
A patient was just asking me something similar whilst commenting on how compassionate is my personality. My only answer came from a point of honesty, that I had to go to school to learn what I needed to learn to do what I do, but that compassion cannot be taught.

Words cannot describe how good my night was. I am at a point of desperation, desiring to record all the high points before the beer and euphoria leave me.

Orientation at work is going well. It is very hard work, constant and with few breaks, and the computer system is new and unlike anything I have ever done. I make mistakes constantly, but I am also doing a lot of good. I keep thinking that it's just going too well, and at times I am afraid that I am going to mess up so severely that I will not be forgiven. I meditate on banishing these thoughts.

Switching back to a night schedule also comes with a certain level of disorientation. When the sun comes up at dawn, there is a certain organic level of panic that hits me without logical reason. So I got home this morning and called my mom with all my unnatural concerns.

Because I am scheduled overnight for twelve hours, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this upcoming week. And then I have to desperately seek eight hours of sleep on Thursday in order to drive overnight and hit Nashville before rush hour, so that I can spend a few hours during the daylight before the hotel will let me rent a room to rest. The things that I do for love... But before that, I am in the midst of a domestic war on fleas, and I know that I will be gone for four or five days, and I need to ensure that my cat is cared for, and I need a vacuum cleaner, and I owe my friends who feed my cat, and I really really wanted to get with my brother while I have time to show him how I place an entire organic chicken into eighteen meals, and I really don't know how I will have the time to do everything that has to be done.

Well, my mom was anchored and set my mind at ease, said as she usually does exactly what I needed to hear. "Skylar is not dying," she said. She promised to get two chickens, to prepare one her way, and to keep the other for when I have time. She told me to do what I needed to do, within the time that I have. And then I slept.

Nine and a half hours later, I awakened to being eaten by fleas. Margaret via facebook recommended diatomaceous earth, and T.K. agreed to feed Roman again in my absence. So I fed the cat and said goodbye, and then I set out to be a hunter-gatherer once more.

The co-op indeed had diatomaceous earth. The cashier commented on my late grandfather's bat shirt. In the parking lot once again, I was elated. My night began with a major victory.

James called, asked if I wanted to hang out. Indeed I did, and I promised to call when I came back to that side of town, but explained at the time my intentions for gathering some more much needed supplies. He agreed to see me later when I was back. So at the liquor store I picked up some German beer, and I found that Blackheart has become more affordable than Captain Morgan or Sailor Jerry.

I don't know how I made it to Pet Smart before close, but I stocked up on cat food and cat food, and a scratching post, and cat toys. The only thing I didn't have time to ask for was cat grass, but I kind of thought he'll hold out for just a little while longer, at least. Because Blue Buffalo has fruits and things in the blend anyway.

Then at Target I found a much needed Dirt Devil, and aluminum foil, and Scottish tape, and fingernail clippers so that I do not have to keep borrowing my brother's.

I forgot cigarette lighter fluid. It isn't urgent.

Feeling accomplished but horribly hazy, I looped back around for a coffee at Arsaga's. On the drive there I ran into a sudden appreciation, feeling intensely blessed and euphoric. Again I was a silly little girl, running around happy in Illyria, asking of my Father in heaven, "Where are we?"

And His voice came clearly to me, answering sweetly from a point of strength and stability, and my Holy Spirit like a mother told me, "We are in Fayetteville, baby." I was home. And I was happy.

At Arsaga's I should have expected that conversation would be wonderful, needed, and engaging. Fortunately D-Rok was kind of ready to go about the time that I was, and I was happy to drive him back toward the direction I needed to be heading at the time. So I dropped him off at his house, and we said our farewells.

As soon as he disembarked from my car, James called, said he was getting tired, but that it might just be the booze. I encouraged him to stay awake just a few minutes longer, promised to buy him dinner. He agreed.

I drove alone again. But I was never alone. My God was always there with me by my side.

I had high hopes and kind of expected the Vietnamese place to be on par with the one in Baltimore. K had already spoken good things about it. So at the restaurant I was pleased not to have been disappointed. It was everything I had hoped, and the bonus was that James enjoyed it as well. We talked, and it was a very comforting kind of connection, like we might have been best of friends in a past life or something. just my take on it at least. We seem to have become good friends pretty quickly.

So dinner was awesome, and then when we were done we went back to his place for beers and music. Remind me to buy them a DVD player as thanks for watching the cat. Anyway, fermented grain flowed, and so did the Holy Spirit. We spoke of philosophy and spiritual things while bad anime went into good anime on the muted television, and we listened to Morrissey then something else dark and gothic then punk then metal then Judas Priest.

James said he would rather care for my cat in his own place, and so I agreed to drop him off on Thursday before I left town. should be a good thing for all considered.

I excused myself before the sun came up and greeted the rain outside. To avoid Dickson Street during the night hours I took the long way around. Off College I rounded the turn on North, and for a fleeting instant my mind wandered and asked a question which has no answer. But instantly the track changed on the iPod shuffle to speak for the Father the only answer that can be. And with a Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley took me home.

Back home again, I am safe from the sun. Armed with powdered oyster shells, my war on domestic vampires takes a turn in my favour. The cat and I are together, and I find it funny to see toy mice on the carpet now. Still I am happy. I wish to revel in this into the morning.
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Re: the decadence of formal education [Jul. 22nd, 2011|07:04 pm]
Comfort Adore
[music |Wolfsheim]

Oh, don't bullshit me with that psycho- mumbo-jumbo! You are in school to learn to work a job! It takes natural talent to understand someone.

You used to tell me that you knew that I was a product of a bad environment. Now it's like you think my environment is my fault. And no matter whether I am happy or sad, you are always annoyed with me.
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To: friends and acquaintances [Jul. 22nd, 2011|06:18 pm]
Comfort Adore
I really shouldn't blame you for not understanding me because nobody ever has.

I will never write about you again.

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